when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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