I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
