we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
