i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
