ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
