Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
