I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
