Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
