I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
