Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
