I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
