Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize