Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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