I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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