definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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