There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
