a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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