dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
