So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
