There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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