We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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