sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize