YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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