how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize