i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
