i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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