Already got asked if we're dating
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
