Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
