I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
