she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
