Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
