Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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