you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Everclear isn't food dammit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
