Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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