yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
