She said her name was "party"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize