So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my shit smells like andre
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
