I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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