don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
