I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
