his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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