Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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