Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
