I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
