Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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