like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
