so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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