Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
