he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize