i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
