I can tuck mytits in my pants
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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