We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
