I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
