Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
