wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
