every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
