you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
