I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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