These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
