We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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