3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
