Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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