I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
