ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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