We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
