i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
