I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize