she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
