You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
